My song is better than yours Ryan Schreiber!

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I know gentlemen like Christopher Weingarten and Ryan Schreiber are used to this sort of thing; they've got books to write and movies to make. Can't you just let me have my one moment in the sun?

Apparently someone forgot to tell the band Zorch that I wasn't worthy of a song written about me. Then again, they did just play with Tera Melos in Austin a few months back, so maybe they got the idea from those practical jokers. Still, I'm flattered. So much so, that I'm probably the only one of the music industry “professionals” they've sung about to lend it any credo. Besides, my song is one of the best of the bunch; if only because it uses my awesome tweets. They missed a few gems, but were able to accurately capture my hatred of Uggs and my drunken tirade towards Boston.

Sadly, it only has 35 views. Apparently the Derek Evers name doesn't carry the same weight as my contemporaries. We need to give this badboy some shine.

Full lyrics:

These ugg boots are killing our erections
Don't wanna think chill
Don't wanna think wave

Is chillwave a separate genre?
Why are they giving grades
I guess that makes us slaves

To the
Decimal system
To the
Sexual Rhythms
Derek Evers, maybe its eevers
Is this song clever, will it get us some beavers
TONITE

Lady gaga is mediocre
So is moby destroyed
Moby gets me annoyed

Boston looks an abercrombie
Fraternity
Derek Evers perceives

And he's right
I know cuz I lived there
He's right
But now we have the hippie hair
Derek Evers, maybe its eevers
Is this song clever, will it get us some beavers
Derek Evers, maybe its eevers
Is this song clever, will it get us some beavers
TONITE