Times are tough. Things are changing. Entire socioeconomic classes are evaporating. People need to be taking to the streets, taking to their City Halls, and — most importantly — taking to their Facebooks. We need to make our statuses inflammatory, untrue remarks about President Obama. We need to dedicate entire pages of text to quoting a Glenn Greenwald article. We need to be listing incoherent reasons why Ron Paul is going to save our country. And, most of all, we need to be using capslock.
I’ll admit, I’ve been slacking myself. Once or twice I’ve engaged that unsung hero who is constantly posting conspiracy political theory videos on his wall in a lively debate — but that is not enough. He, and others like him, are left doing all the legwork of providing half-baked ideas and derogatory remarks about the other side of the aisle. We all must be participating, we all must be doing our part. To only deign to yell back and forth with someone about the debt ceiling a few times before giving up with a resigned sigh is to only superficially participate in what makes this country so great. We must dig in our heels, square our jaws, and get ready to fight the good fight.
And even when it looks as though this comment section will go on forever, when no one is relenting or even acknowledging that an opposing point has been made, we must not give up. In fact, that is the very moment in which to unleash your treasure trove of relevant media. The debate is not lost, it is simply stalling. Imagine a healthy Facebook political debate as a car, and terribly made YouTube propaganda videos as its essential fuel. Every dozen posts or so, you’re going to need to fill ‘er up.
Just remember, when things get heavy and feelings are clearly getting hurt, we must continue in the name of Facebook political progress. We must make insinuations about the fellow commenter’s military service, education level, and socioeconomic background. He went to middle school with your acquaintance, he’s clearly an idiot anyway. And if he for a second doubts your position, there is no piece of information that Wikipedia can’t provide.
So get out there, get your keyboards warmed up, and get your circular arguments nice and round. Our economy’s got a fever, and the only cure is more Facebook political debates.