From this moment on Bing Crosby is dead to us. Dean Martin is dead to us. Alvin & The Chipmunks: dead to us. The California Raisins: Dead. Paul Anka: dead to us. The Jackson 5 and Alan Jackson are dead to us. Dolly Parton: Dead. Jewel, Babyface, and Jackson Johnson: Dead. Barry fucking Manilow is D-E-A-D, dead.
Why you ask?
DMX just freestyled “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer”, first a capella, then came in with some table drumming and it shut shit down in terms of holiday cover songs. We are tempted to tweet this news to Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward to leave their cover off the impending Christmas album they are contractually obligated to make, unless they wish to become as dead to us as Merle Haggard and The Wiggles are dead to us.
