We're jamming Action Bronson and The Alchemist's Rare Chandeliers record in the office with the windows open – fuck with us Bushwick. We jam it at top volume at home. We've had neighbors send Facebook messages regarding that shit we're jamming, except this time it's to inquire what that “hella tight” shit is, instead of demanding we turn it down. Like some good reefer you can put Rare Chandeliers in the air and real heads are gonna sniff it, even through walls. Here's 10 more reasons we fuck with Bam Bam and Alc:
1. “But enough about me and more about myself.” Bronson brings his high school homie, Big Body Bes, along to talk his shit on the “Big Body Bes Intro”. Most might skip the intro in favor of hearing the music, but we honor the “Big Body Bes Intro” because it places RC in the company of Return to the 36 Chambers and The Pretty Toney Album.
2. Actual ad for rare chandeliers. We like to imagine diggers like Prince Paul and MF Doom, who flip some of the most obscure samples, heard the “rare chandelier” commercial and tipped their hats toThe Alchemist. Seriously though, did he just sample Antiques Roadshow?
3. “Sylvester Lundgren” feat. Meyhem Lauren & AG Da Coroner. Outdoorsmen body a track named after the Rocky and Drago showdown. We're surprised #Sylvester Lundgren isn't trending. Our feed was cluttered with tweets and retweets of people losing their minds for damn good reason.
4. “Dennis Haskins” aka Mr. Belding. “Bring Mr. Belding out, that means you getting dismissed.” We had to Google it. Dennis Haskins? It still doesn't make a ton of sense, but we can't be mad at a Saved By The Bell reference.
5. The album art. The tone was set when the album art debuted. Big expectations cook up when you see an aligator with a machine gun attached to its collar. Bam Bam's wolf's head and tuxedo ensemble needs to be brought to life and shot by Terry Richardson.
6. Do things for the kids. Bronson's four-year old son gets brains from a hooker on “Dennis Haskins”. Some say bad parenting, others beg to differ. Whether factual or hyperbole, it's a bar that belongs in a Genius Lines of the Week feature.
7. The Alchemist. He's like an old gunslinger you haven't seen around and assumed he'd died on some range out in Montana. But, he strolled into your one-horse town, guns blazing, and declared himself the sheriff, running uncontested. The man is having a career year.
8. Fat game. Christopher Wallace made B.I.G. sexy. Big Pun wooed the ladies with his spanglish and silk shirts. Bronson is stepping out of baths after two women wash him and comparing the head he gets to cleaning Super Nintendo cartridges.
9. The vingettes of “Randy The Musical”, “Gateway To Wizardy” and “Eggs On The Third Floor”. The tracklisting reads 13-tracks, but it's more like 19 with the “B-Boy Bouillabaisse”-esque beat changes in these three tracks. Further proof that The Alchemist is on the top of his game.
10. Shout outs. So many fine references to dissect, so little time. We got to give Bronson credit for showing love to Brian Urlacher, Tommy Lasorda, Jim The Anvil, Jean Claude Van Damme, Michael Vick, Ving Rhames, Yogi Berra, Terry Porter, and Ivan Lendl.
Download Action Bronson & The Alchemist's Rare Chandeliers via Vice/Noisey or stream it here.
