Nimai Larson is one-half of Brooklyn trancendence-powerhouse Prince Rama. She will be contributing a series of recipes designed to fit the only two possible moods a human could possess: the desire for health, and the desire for recovery from one's own mistakes.
It’s spring time, y’all! That means you’re newly single, confused, and looking to get into a new relationship. This recipe is designed to totally impress your new potential date using seasonal, HEALTHY ingredients. If you’ve just woken up from wasted rebound sex with a stranger and are not looking to impress anyone, refer to the recipe entitled ‘HUNGOVER’. It better suits you.
Strawberry Bread Bowls
- 8 or 9 small rolls
- 2 cups strawberries
- 10 red pearl onions
- 1 cup mozzarella pearls
- ¼ cup pistachios
- 2 Tbs balsamic vinegar
- 1 Tbs maple syrup
- 1 tsp cracked black pepper
With a sharp knife, carve out the tops of your rolls to make bread bowls. Set aside. Place pistachios in a plastic baggie and stomp on them. Empty your crushed pistachios and set aside in small bowl.
Rinse and chop your strawberries into half-inch pieces, discarding the tops. Also cut your 10 pearl onions in half. Wipe your tears, no one likes to see you cry.
In a medium sized bowl, combine your chopped strawberries and halved pearl onions with the balsamic, maple syrup, and cracked black pepper. Mix it until all ingredients are evenly coated.
Add the mozzarella pearls. Lightly toss. The pearls look a lot more appetizing when they’re white and not completely brown with Balsamic.
Using a tablespoon, fill each bread bowl with your strawberry mixture. Now to really make sure you get asked on a second date, sprinkle the crushed pistachios on top of each one and serve.
Scrambled Eggs and Shame Bread Bowls
- 2 small rolls
- 4 eggs
- 1 small tomato
- ½ an onion
- 1 block of cheddar for grating
- 2 Tbs olive oil
- A drizzle of maple syrup
- Salt and pepper for seasoning
There’s no reason to pretend you’re about to eat a strawberry after the way last night turned out. So I’m making it easy on you. Ditch the fancy stuff. And whomever is still lying in your bed.
Preheat your oven to 350º
With a sharp knife, carve out the tops of your rolls to make bread bowls. Set aside.
Crack 4 eggs into a bowl and whip with a fork.
Dice your tomato and onion. Season with salt and pepper. Throw in a non-stick frying pan with your 2 Tbs Olive Oil and eggs. Keep an eye on those things. Don't stand over the toilet trying to throw up for too long. Eggs need your attention! Keep scrambling.
When your scrambled eggs are almost done, grate as much cheese into them as you have the energy to grate.
Fill your bowls with this medicine! Then top off both bowls with a drizzle of maple syrup on each. Put them in the oven until the cheese melts.
Thank god it’s only you around, this dish is messy and you’re a mess.