Heed the rapture. 12-21-12. It’s coming up kids, quick. Bow down. Sell your souls…to the hands of the Lord.
“Whether my love will go/And everyone I know/Will disappear/I have no fear in the hands of the Lord,” raspingly croons Torino, Italy’s Vernon Sélavy, aka Vincenzo Marando, on his debut LP’s closer “All the Sinners Burn”. Stressed Desserts Blues comes courtesy of Shit Music for Shit People in cooperation with Azbin Records (founded by Xavier Terracol of French expatriate occultist garagers, Le Pécheur and Regal). If you’re familiar with Azbin then the religious themes involved in their releases shouldn’t strike you as Cimmerian Christian rock; it’s more of fucked, gothic take on the practice. Think Al Jodorowsky’s Holy Mountain. The sole, plucked riff — repeated without divergence — coupled with Sélavy’s rough English will reminisce Lynyrd Skynrd’s “Tuesday’s Gone”, late ‘60s Stones (Flowers for us ‘Mericans), Leonard Cohen, Eric Burdon and the addled drawl of Le Pécheur vocalist Pier. Only this ain’t the mod-revival Frisco treat we haven’t been able to stop talking about. It’s the EU. New times, a new era. A foreign update of Delta gospel pertaining to the idea of The End.
And because we are all too “poor” to afford transportation home for civilization’s ultimate breath, come Dec. 20 we’ll sit around in our big city apartments with our big city friends playing the Prince Rama Top Ten Hits of the End of the World drinking game — where you drink every time the Larson sisters sing made-up words (see: “chinamore a nee-nee-nee” on “Fire Sacrifice”). Synchronized playlists will hit Sélavy’s nouveau rétro axiom at 11:57:29 p.m. EST. We’ll share hands. Lock arms. Revel in our wasted, closing company. Clumsily bellowing the line, “I HAVE NO FEAR!”…until, at the stroke of midnight, as the final note rings dead, the Jesus-piloted, extra-dimensional reptilian spacecraft will finally descend upon us. All the sinners will scatter to the streets, naked, screaming in the fire: BURN! TO HELL WITH IT ALL! IN THE HANDS OF THE LORD, BURN!
Vernon Sélavy, “All the Sinners Burn”
Fuck Europe’s “The Final Countdown”. Save it for the yups. Vernon Sélavy’s debut LP Stressed Desserts Blues is available now. Following the download for “All the Sinners Burn”, below, are the lyrics. We did the work for you so you won’t have to take any time away from the Prince Rama drinking game to decipher the lyrics for a farewell singalong during your conclusive hour.
Whether this world will drown
And all the sinners burn
I have no fear
For I am here in the hands of the Lord.
Whether my love will go
And everyone I know
Will disappear
I have no fear in the hands of the Lord.
Sometimes at night my dear
I got the vision clear
That I am alone
Singing my song in the hands of the Lord.
