After an early taste of fame in 2004's Team America: World Police, North Korea is yet again trending. Recent underground nuclear tests from the small but plucky country has put most of the world in a tizzy. To quell concerns, America, as you probably know, had sent her greatest living diplomat, Dennis Rodman, overseas to see what's up.
While the Kim family doesn't exactly agree with America on killing defectors, political prison camps, and various other crimes against humanity, they share our love of basketball. (Though their rules are a little different). And so, the “intrepid” journalists at Vice packed a plane with Rodman and several Harlem Globetrotters for an exhibition of the century.
As with any great news story, the quotes from involved parties are far more entertaining than any copy a writer could generate. Rodman sat down with ABC's George Stephanopoulos and got to the marrow of Kim Jong Un.
Rodman: “What I saw in that country … I saw that people respect him and his family,”
Stephanopoulos: “But aren't they forced to?”
Rodman: “Well, I say no, because I think he's going to change something because his is a different view, because I sat with him for two days and … he wanted Obama to do one thing – [to] call him.”
Stephanopoulos: “He wants a call from President Obama?
Rodman: “That's right. He told me that. He said 'if you can, Dennis, I don't want to do war. I don't want to do war.' He said that to me.”
Sweet. That settles it. This whole nuclear war thing looks to be quashed with an innocuous game of ball. Sure, Obama's a little bit more athletic, but Kim has that whole “dictator” mentality going for him. Boys will be boys.