1. Smuggle heroin across a New Mexico desert in a flatbed truck.
2. Peyote with a Native American, also in the dessert. Put “I Saw God” on repeat and wait for an armadillo to deliver a spiritual message.
3. Punch a bald eagle to death, then throw a cook out with all my friends.
4. Grow a moustache and only wear flip flops. (Possibly include a farmer’s tan.)
5. Put a leash on my cat and take it for a walk.
6. Wear a sombrero and pancho. 4 + 6 = Awesome Overload.
7. Play “The Drop I Hold” in a cemetary. Hold a seance in attempt to conjure Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s ghost. If I succeed we’ll smoke dust and rap “Brooklyn Zoo” together.
8. Convince a southern black baptist church choir to perform “Elijah” at a Sunday service. Once again, I hope this experience will reward spiritual enlightenment.
9. Hold hands with my best friend.
10. Drink cheap bottled beer. Somehow have the most hilarious time of my life and constantly do spit takes, showering my cohorts in booze mist.
