5 best things Tony DuShane has read recently

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tony dushane

Tony's most recent book and first novel is called Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk, out now from Soft Skull. That book is about Gabe, a young Jehovah's Witness, tries to deal with normal teenage lusts while trying to figure out if he'll meet the criteria of heaven.

Frank Portman of the Mr. T Experience and the author of a few books calls it “smart, funny, touching, and more fun than a Jehovah's Witnesses ethnography could be reasonably expected to be — a real winner.”

Well, there you go. And here are the five best things that Tony has read recently:

1. The Amazon sales ranking for my novel.

Don't let any writer fool you into thinking we're not google masturbating ourselves to death when our first books come out. “Bad reviews? Nah, they don't affect me.” Lies. All lies. We know who you are on Goodreads.com. Some asshole called me Colonel Sanders. I know who you are. And you're actually quite funny. But, 95% of my reviews have been very positive. I used to do standup comedy and you can have a whole room on the floor, crying they're laughing so hard over a well timed punch line, but that one stone faced prick sitting in the front row will be your focus for the whole evening.

2. The Bus Driver Who Wanted To Be God & Other Stories by Etgar Keret.

I had no idea the film “Wristcutters: A Love Story” was based on a short story by this brilliant writer. I'm a fan of heavy themes given a light literary brush stroke and Keret has truly impressed me. When the story and dialog seem effortless, it means the writer digs into deep into dangerous places in their souls.

3. Everything Matters by Ron Currie, Jr.

The main character of the novel knows when the world will end. The premise is clever, and clever premises usually scare me because it means the story will never hold its own to the idea. Currie, Jr. nails the story with a fine touch and characters that will stick with me for a while. Currie, Jr. is a brave author for pulling this off. I love brave authors. It's all or nothing in this game.

4. Conversations with Professor Y by Louis-Ferdinand Celine

“Journey to the End of the Night” by Celine is in my top ten books of all time. A friend of mine suggested I read his later work, some of it where Celine just absolutely loses his mind. “Conversations…” is Celine a few years before his death, insulting the publishing industry and essentially just having a dialog with himself.

5. The status updates of my friends on Facebook.

Some people obsessively collect friends on Facebook, thinking that they're witty geniuses and their 1,000 plus followers are waiting for their every update of love, farts and band reviews. I'm the opposite. If you're my friend on Facebook, I'm reading you. You are wasting my valuable time I should be spending on my novel in progress. I take full responsibility for adding you and clicking on the video link to your daughter's pathetic flute performance with her 3rd grade class… skimming your amateur hour political views since you think everything is either black or white. There are a few of my “friends” I truly despise. I'm disgusted with myself for keeping you as friends and observing your triviality as you lug me with you, one day closer to death, one update closer to our non-existence. Feel free to add me as a friend at facebook.com/tonydushane.