On the road again…

Greg Behrens

corn field

A corn field. Photo not by Greg Behrens.

Traveling is, by far, the greatest side effect of pursuing a career in comedy. The sights, sounds, and smells of the open road can do wonders for the soul. Just barely a few years into this adventure, I am not a road weary vagabond by any means, but even the least-cynical Vietnam vet didn’t have to spend too long in the bush before he had “seen some shit, man.”

Much to the chagrin of my wallet, and my wife (monitor of my wallet), I will leap at any offered opportunity to pack up the old hobo bindle and head on down the dusty trail into parts unknown. There’s no shortage of amazing experiences to be had all over this rock-hurling-through-space, and no one could fathom seeing them all, but why not start right here in our very own U. S. of A.?

The wonders of this country, that is, the greatest country ever of course, are around every corner. You don’t have to look far nor wide to observe the majesty that makes “America” a household name. If you’ve got a severe case of wanderlust like me, here’s just a few points of interest you don’t want miss!

  • Did you know that in Asheville, NC the motel rooms don’t have alarm clocks? I pondered this curiosity as I scrolled through the nine channels available on my remote-less, retro television, while lounging on my eco-friendly recycled prison mattress the staff had so thoughtfully left unkempt. I wondered, 'how would I ever keep up with my strict travel schedule without the electronic reminder that daylight had once again come?' My worries were unfounded however. As dawn broke I was greeted with my own personal wakeup call in the form of blaring sirens outside my door from the good folks at Asheville emergency services, as they rushed to resuscitate the overdosing heroin addict in the room next door. Disaster averted. I easily made it to my next destination thanks to these dedicated individuals.
  • Indianapolis, IN offers a wonderful shuttle service with some of the friendliest and most accommodating staff. My destination was about an hour and a half from the airport, and about one hour into the trip a fellow passenger onboard was horrified when he realized that his suitcase had been left behind. No stranger to helping out his fellow man—and despite several of the other passengers selfish “that’s his problem” mentalities—our multi-lingual chauffeur sensed how upset this gentleman was and felt it best that he should not endure this tragedy alone. Fortunately for me, since I had missed many great photo ops the first go round, we made the hour-long trip through several scenic cornfields all the way back to the airport together to retrieve the lost luggage. Boy were our faces red when we arrived and he realized the aforementioned suitcase had been stowed safely under the bus all along. Thanks for the memories Indy.
  • And of course, what kind of tourist would I be if I didn’t recommend the place I live as a destination for your travels? Atlanta, GA is a fantastical place filled with art, culture, and delicious food, but did you know it’s also the home of our country's largest urban campground? Legions of interesting camping folk congregate throughout the metro area to share stories around a fire, exchange collectibles, or just enjoy some homemade wine. I know it sounds amazing and it couldn’t be more true. You can’t turn a corner in the city without one these carefree wanderers offering to throw away your restaurant leftovers, unburden you of that heavy, and noisy, loose change you've always got clanging around, and some will even go so far as to take all those filthy cigarettes from you and smoke them just to keep you out of harm's way. We should all aspire to have the time to be so selfless.

Those are but a few examples, and there's no end to the places you can go, or the time you can squander, across this great land. I only hope you will make the effort to experience these and many of the other great thrills in store for would-be travelers. I, for one, can't wait to get on the road again.

Someone should write a song about that.

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