Milk Dick, “They Don’t Want My Blood”

Blake Gillespie

Milk Dick can’t say it enough, “fuck the Red Cross.” Rather than make that the emphasis of “They Don’t Want My Blood” through protest song, the Brooklyn-based three piece with self-proclaimed “shit blood” have written it as a whooping, hopped-up celebration of their hemoglobin that enables them to live hard and fast.

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It’s just not as fun to barrel through 90 seconds of Velvetian punk with diatribe against the Red Cross’ archaic practice of homophobic screening, disapproval of tattoos, and hesitancy due to undergoing non-western treatments like acupuncture. Rather than burden us with what we, the denied samaritans, already know, Milk Dick gave us back our humanitarianism and sainthood with a resounding, “they don’t want the love!”

“They Don’t Want My Blood” is off Milk Dick’s Romantic Superstore, which is being released under Infinity Cat’s cassette series curated by Casey Weissbuch of Diarrhea Planet. After the stream, read on for a brief interview Mikey Delaney of Milk Dick on blood donation, Red Cross ire, and a fantasy tour with Diarrhea Planet.

Was “They Don’t Want My Blood” based on actual events of being declined?

“They Don’t Want My Blood” is based on actual events. Every year or so, I’ll get the urge to feel saintly and march down to one of those dumb Red Cross buses to give blood. Every time I’ve been denied. You’d think I would have wised up by now, but even when I lie on the application there’s always some question that comes up right before they stick me that gets me ousted. The worst is the walk of shame when you’re leaving the bus and you see all the new friends you made on line and they’re all laying down and waving goodbye and you’re the asshole with shit blood. It’s very defeating.

So the song begs the question, what was it about your blood that was a deal breaker?

At least some of the reasons for my ineligibility are definitely listed in the song. I’ll leave it at that.

Have the members of Milk Dick attempted other forms of bodily donation and are there failure/success stories? Does this song perhaps represent a lifestyle?

As far as the other Dicks, Brian gets queasy when he thinks about donating and Megan had leukemia when she was 13 so Red Cross has been flipping her the bird ever since. The tune is definitely about a lifestyle; wreckless living and not really caring about your future but also really wanting to be a better person, like a good pure person, and the inevitable realization that if you really want to live and enjoy life you’re just not gonna be a good candidate for donating blood, no matter how good you try to be. I used to do really crazy things when I was younger and even though I stay away from a lot of that stuff nowadays, I still end up getting into some kind of trouble. C’est la vie or something like that. Even if it’s something little like getting a tattoo of a manatee or having butt sex with your girlfriend—Red Cross is gonna tell you to get lost. So fuck ’em.

What advice would you give to the first time blood/plasma donor?

Our advice for anyone giving blood is that they should read the questionnaire before going into the bus! And, don’t go around telling people about how you’re gonna donate blood today because you’re gonna feel like an asshole when they ask you about it later and you have to make shit up to keep from exposing yourself as a potential deviant who was denied. You should definitely expect to be put off by the homophobic questions they ask you during the interview. They suck.

Let’s say Diarrhea Planet and Milk Dick go out on tour as gross-bands united. Is there a third band out there with a worthy moniker to join you? Also, limitless budget: what sort of stage installations and pyrotechnics are you getting?

That tour would be awesome. Milk Dick DP’ing. The perfect addition to the marquee would be either Hymen Holocaust or Mannequin Pussy. Stage setup would include cute dancers, a giant paper mache whale which would barf Nickelodeon slime on us and a canon that would blast pairs of dirty underwear onto the crowd. Make it happen, Impose.

Milk Dick’s Romantic Superstore is out January 13 on Infinity Cat, pressing limited to 300.

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