We don’t measure things by wins and losses. It’s only been one week. So Thrasher sent us tanking toward the bottom? Did you know manatees swim upside down? Arabic is written from right to left. Just something to think about while you dump your PG and pick up streaky Kemba Walker.
Here's the current standings. Pray please don't put too much stock in them:
And the league is now public for all those at home wanting up-to-date information on Team Impose's reign.
We don’t put all the blame on Chris Kaman. That was a mid-week pick made because we simply wanted to try it out. We wanted to exercise the power, wanted to see how it felt. Wanted to feel the rush of cutting a professional basketball player only to pick up some guy that looks a cross between a cadaver and a chicken cutlet. Chris Kaman and Joakim Noah running the paint now? #TeamBeautyBoyz out here.
Week Two pits us against Gothamist. They’re sitting at the top of the standings, but we don’t stutter when we say the stats are currently inflated. They might have King James, but we all saw Rudy Gay cross up James the other night.
In the real world, the early narratives read as such:
The Lakers imploded, fired Mike Brown, righted the ship, and hired Mike D’Antoni. All within seven games.
The Pacers are supposed to be the solid #3 seed in the East. Early talk was, after Miami, the East was open for the Pacers to sneak into a #2 seed. Danny Granger is injured and probably won’t return before Chicago gets Rose back. Roy Hibbert, despite filming way too many workout videos, seems to have gone into hibernation. Paul George has been here and there, but that probably has nothing to do with the fact that he plays an insane amount of video games for a man over 18. No native Hoosier is surprised.
The Knicks are undefeated. The New York Knicks have yet to lose a game. The same Knicks that are supposed to read as a daily Onion headline are 4-0. Every native New Yorker is aware it’s a long-ass season.
This time next week we’ll be reporting from the cushy seat up on top. Don’t bother hitting us for trades unless Rondo’s on the table. We’re saddled with near-vegetables like Hibbert and Glen Davis, but we’re not about brash dealings and shitty management. We’re of the Larry Bird school. We have a three-year plan. We’re building a franchise, an empire.