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[Above: HOMG George Michael, he's so DREAMY!!]

Keep your short-shorts on girls, because there's plenty Georgie-porgie to go around now that he's gonna be going on his first North American tour in seventeen years. As announced, “He will open his 25 Live tour in San Diego on 17 June, winding up in Sunrise, Florida, on 3 August.”

Women across the country are going to be screaming, throwing themselves past bouncers and chanting “I want your Sex. I want your… oooh. I want your Sex. C-c-c-c-c-c-come on!”

george michael wants to have sex with you

Of course things haven't been all roses in the star camp for Michael, as allegations of drugs and… other things… have been hounding him for the past decade like a crazy jailbait groupie at an after-party. (He's also the only person on record to admit sympathy for Amy Winehouse.) But nothing's going to break this iron man's stride. 'Cause he's gotta have faith-a faith-a faith-a.

Faith-a faith-a faith-a.

Faith-a faith-a faith-a.


george michael wants to have sex with you

Let's look at the past year in George, courtesy of our good friends at the BBC:

Jan 08
16 Singer Michael to write memoirs

Sep 07
30 Drug is a problem, Michael admits
20 George Michael cuts HIV interview

09 George Michael plays Wembley stadium
08 Singer Michael avoids jail term

31 Michael 'was on drugs' court told
19 Michael defends cannabis smoking

george michael wants to have sex with you

But who cares. The upcoming gala-tour, which will surely be the HIStory of the 00s, coincides with the release of Twenty Five, a greatest-hits album.

You may ask, “Didn't I already buy my momma George Michael's Greatest Hits at Sam Goodys back in '98?” Well yes, you did. But Twenty Five is more than a greatest hits compilation. Being the fourth greatest hits compilation he's released, Twenty Five is the greatest-hits of the greatest-hits, picking only the greatest of the greatest hits from all his greatest hits records, and putting them on one greatest hits album that you can now buy in addition to all the others.

george michael wants to have sex with you

Not mentioned is the fact that Twenty Five has already been out for a year in the UK. Americans have to wait until April 1 to go to Sam Goodys and buy it for their mommas.

Twenty Five tracklist:

Disc: 1
1. Everything She Wants – George Michael, Wham!,
2. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go – George Michael, Wham!,
3. Wait, why am I listing these?
4. Seriously, why am I listing these?
5. It's not like I care.
6. …
7. Stairway to Heaven
8. Faith '08 Kidz Bop freestyle megamix
9. George Michael's favorite lullabyes
10. George Michael's longest poo

Disc 2:
1 – 10. Did you see me on Extras, that was funny and ironic right? right? right?