Times weren't always easy back when I was a teenage girl in 1993, but I always had one tall blonde man to turn to when things got really rough. Thanks to Sassy and Thurston Moore's advice column for getting me through the rough spots.
Sometimes I still ponder the big questions, and when I do, I return to the big man with all the answers:
There's this guy that I really like. He tells everyone that he doesn't even like me as a friend, but when we're alone together we do things that are reserved for people who think of each other as more than friends. What do I do?
A friend, more, or less? Huntley, IL
The guy's a jerk. I know that won't discourage you from liking him, but he's got a major personality flaw: disrespecting you. Be careful of this kind of butthead, because his sleaze behavior may rub off on you, and then your life will become more and more hellish. Next time you're alone with him and he tries to get “friendly,” tell him your friend Thurston Moore wants to kick his ass. And then tell him why.
And then there's this:
I am 15 years old and have extremely large breasts. I'm not going to get into exactly how big they are, but they're way bigger than a triple-D. Everyone that I meet, guys especially, wants to get to know me because of that. The girls try to act like they're fake. What to do? Big-busted in Brooklyn, NY
Large breasts are a very attractive asset. Some people are turned off by them, but they are a minority. You're going to have to be proud of yourself and accept the fact that a lot of people are going to give you grief. Large breasts or large buttocks or large anything will attract attention to the person who's got 'em, but so what? Laugh all those idiots off and smile to the fact you have something special.
There are so many situations where this little gem has helped me:
Every time something goes wrong and I'm around, I get blamed. Even people I don't know blame me for things. Blamed in Stratford, CT
Next time someone blames you for something, look 'em straight in the face I and ask, “How may I correct this situation?” This will startle and dumbfound them. Then go up and kiss them lightly on the cheek and whisper, “No matter what happens, I will always love you.” As you back away, grab your head and scream bloody murder and run like the wind.
