Lady Gaga's new fragrance to smell like “blood, semen,” that futon in your garage in high school

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Ending months of furious speculation that Lady Gaga's forthcoming fragrance would be designed by Ted Bundy, an anonymous source (the best kind of source!) from the designer Rad Hourani has told Fashionista that she requested that it “smell of blood and semen.”

Lots of celebrities have fragrances. Shit, Christina, Brittney, Paris, and Diddy, and countless others have beaten this path. But it's mostly marketed to the MTV demo AKA kids that are probably too young to know what blood and semen smell like. Until now! She's a friggin' sex-ed pioneer! I wish Lady Gaga's fragrance was around when I had “the talk” with my parents years ago.

Me: So, help me understand: if I leave it in then–

Mom: Shhh. Just take a deep breath.


Me: OHHHHHHH, ohhh wow. Wow. Ok. Wait–wait, I've lost it, hit me again.

Not to boast, but Impose had a fragrance line a few years back, and this reeks (literally) of our Eau d'Turkish Prison.