Q-Tip takes shit in Starbucks bathroom

Chris Robbins

Q-Tip exits Starbucks

Exiting the lavatory in style, cellphone photo by my roommate, Owen, fastest Droid in the LES

Under the guise of being deprived of Internet by those kind, diligent folks at Time Warner Cable, we at Impose have been conducting valuable anthropological research at the Starbucks across the street. Mostly we've just seen people tear into microwaved bacon-scones (“a sandwich you just can't argue with”) and greedily slurp down pumpkin caramel slurry, their jaws pounding to the fugue of Josh Groban's rendition of “The Christmas Song.”

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But today, a breakthrough. Q-Tip, Tribe Called Quest founder and Mark Ronson collaborator, strolled in and waited in line for the bathroom. There is a line, because there is only a single toilet, the same toilet that the guy who lives in the phonebooth across the street uses when he's puttin' on the ritz. Given the ratio of Mr. Tip's anxious leg shuffling to the amount of time spent in the bathroom (∂x / µb = p) we determined that he was in fact, taking a shit. He then exited into a waiting limousine, no doubt blaring “Vivrant Thing” on loop, for eternity.

Whether you're the mastermind behind Kanye's new perfect-11 album, or you've been at the OTB down the block all goddamn day and just need to stay awake for this last trifecta, Starbucks has you covered.

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