#SEOBullyBoyz NBA Fantasy Week 8 Update

Peter Cavanaugh

Sorry for the absence last week. Absent only from reporting, not from competing. Where did we leave off? We had just extinguished somebody, the enemy always nameless, faceless, we daren’t humanize them. Then we run the risk of sympathizing, letting up the reins. We’re not here to make friends. We’ve been watching the Heat. We’ve been staying up late to watch the Lakers. Our faces are wrinkling, our hair is graying.

What to tell you?

Complex came over for a week of something loosely defined as basketball. Team Impose was caught in Midwestern travel. Not the capital T Travel, two hands with fingers extending and hitting each other perpendicular, that which is never called on players earning the biggest of paychecks, generating the biggest of profits. Family travel, breaded tenderloins, car rentals. We forgot then. We forgot about the league for a night. The night when every one of our players was playing and too many were left stranded on the bench and there was nothing to do but hit refresh, refresh as our lead dwindled and Grandpa told us about the apartment he had on Horatio in the Village and how he only paid 75 bucks and even then he felt that was too much.

The troops trooped up, though. We survived the week. Better, we came out the other side winning by a margin of 8-1. Damn near swept them. A thrashing so ugly, so beyond expletive, Complex has changed their name. Don’t ask us what CMN means. Don’t ask us because we don’t know.

But it’s a new week, and the good Christmas gods have given us a matchup with current kings of the mountain, Thrasher. Look, we know Glen Davis is injured and just sitting on the end of our bench taking advantage of craft services. What are we supposed to do? We still don’t know how to trade players. Looking at the list of free agents is enough to make you chuck out the modem and fire up ESPN Classic. We need assists, we need to cut down on turnovers.

Hell, who are we kidding? We need a lot more. It’s a lot of basketball left to play, but we’re already down 2-7. We’re a good team, but not really into coming together to face adversity. We don’t have what is colloquially referred to as heart.

We’ve been looking into fantasy cricket for next year. It’s not about rising to the occasion, it’s more about chilling until the right occasion finds you. See you all on the other side.

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