Kevin Durant, the slim reaper of the Oklahoma City Thunder, joked around with reporters last week about making the NBA All-Star team despite missing almost half the season. To be fair to those who felt snubbed, KD put out a challenge for one-on-one games for his spot. We give you the Top 7 mano a mano games we want to see.
7) Michael Rappaport
Actor, basketball fan and now podcaster, Rappaport has a lot of love for the NBA. He directed an ESPN 30 for 30 based on the New York Knicks of the 70’s and is already a regular in the Sprint Celebrity Game. But he also bloviates at an insane rate about basketball and although he takes his lumps when he gets corrected, it would still be fun to see him chuck long-two’s trying to match KD’s stroke. He’s available this year by default mostly, but as a mainstay celebrity baller since the days of MTV’s Rock N’ Jock games, let Rappaport have a yearly showdown with Durant until his knees give out. Our guess is his mouth won’t give out no matter how many shots Durant swats into the stands.
The President never hides his love for the NBA and is currently a lame duck official with his finger on the veto button, aka two years of ball hog. It’s the kind of no trust in the teammates mentality well-suited for one-on-one. It’s like that White House court was built to train for this very moment. We’d like to issue a challenge to Durant though: play in a suit and wingtips.
Man, the Republican news machine will go buck wild. The shade would get real.
5) Adam Silver
Adam Silver’s first big test as new commissioner of the NBA was how to deal with the unfolding Donald Sterling saga and although Silver seemed like an unassuming quiet guy, he went HAM on Sterling. Adam Silver has a quiet fury that could come out like a beast in a one-on-one game and against a very competitive guy like Durant, it could turn into a playground game real quick. KD is the Slim Reaper, but Silver looks to have a comparable gangly frame that could challenge a few shots.
4) Justin Bieber
Just look at that fradulant, I’m going to show off and mean mug, move while a guy who is probably on his payroll doesn’t even try to play defense. It’s time to turn Biebz hoop dreams into a living nightmare. For those who think the young pop star is out of control, the answer is not better parenting. The answer is getting abused by Kevin Durant for a scoreless game to 10. Durant has recently grown into a salty stage in life and Justin’s fans probably wouldn’t want to see the results if he tried that on the court.
One of the hottest groups in hiphop, Migos also happen to be big basketball fans, dropping tons of NBA references and throw backs to 2000’s-era ball (We see you Antwan Jamison!) But to be fair, they probably cannot play, so to even things up all three of them have to play just one Kevin Durant. Fair is fair.
— Hannibal Buress (@hannibalburess) February 5, 2015
2) Hannibal Buress
#lethannibalplay is bigger than the celebrity game. Buress might be a Brooklyn resident and native Chicagoan, but I want to see him on the West with Boogie Cousins and Russell Westbrook. He’s named after a general that was a strategic mastermind. That has to benefit him by association.
1) Lil B
LET THIS CURSE PLAY OUT IN REAL LIFE THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED.