Snooki gets another fiction deal

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Snooki at a Book Signing

New word from the mountain of crap that is the book industry: Snooki got another book deal for a fiction book. Now, for those keeping track at home, that makes two book deals. Two more book deals than you.

That also makes two fiction books. Calling them fiction is hardly right, but is safer than whatever James Frey did.

This is all desperation from book people. I'm not sure how any fiction editor can touch this mess. If Snooki walked into any music label and said “I want to be singer,” they would say “No way.” If Snooki walked into any movie studio and said, “I want to be a director” they would say, “You've got to be kidding.” Too volatile. Too stupid. Too incoherent. Too many problems working with such a problematic “talent.”

A tell-all, celebrity memoir is one thing, but something “creative” with plot and narration is another. Because it's an attempt by Snooki, realizing her 15 minutes are almost up, to do something real. She has her money, she doesn't need to establish a series or a name for herself. But she lacks importantance. Something serioius. Something to be respected. Because why else would she do it? It's not the way to keep your fame going, books are basically ignored by the culture at large. It's for gravitas, not for bucks.

Only in the struggling book publishing genre does Snooki hold up as an auteur, rather than the stereotype she is. Create a whole new section for her and Lauren Conrad. Don't put it near the literary or the sci-fi or even the romance shelves for that matter. Throw it next to the celebrity books. Just have celebrity sections at Amazon and in the bookstore, where all the celebrity books can just exist in their own world, congratulating one another for being great.

Sure, bookstores should bend the rules, consider a multitude of tastes, but there is chasing an audience and then there is caving into an audience. And this is just an avalanche of crap.

Bonus: See a video of Anderson Cooper giving a dramatic reading of Snooki's first book, Shore Thing.