We usually travel after after throwing shows in Austin. Last year was Monterrey. This year we drove to LA and back. The following are some of the notable things that we saw.
First, a poorly taken photograph of some kind of Ray Ban-sponsored gypsy cab getting pulled over by cops during SXSW:
Condom dispenser in Lubbock, TX. I like how this one worded condoms for small dicks as “slimmer for a tighter fit.”
This was in Vegas, the night we sprung for a seedy hotel room:
This poster was perfectly placed in a Korean restaurant's men's room in LA, for people taking dumps. “You are the one who can make a miracle.”:
Things get cool once you get past Santa Fe. Dust storms, Loony Tune crags, UFO sitings, dirt cheap Patron, heavy as fuck Tex-Mex, cheap as fuck Patron, nine million canyons to drink said Patron in peace, and this first one is the view from the Burger King in Page, Arizona:
When you turn the corner onto a particular one road town in southern Utah, a sheriff car suddenly comes into view and everyone slams on their breaks. Once you get closer you learn that the Mormons who probably populate this town think of themselves as pretty clever.
Kanab, Utah is this kitschy tourist trap halfway between Zion National Park and Grand Canyon where movie stars stayed when they were shooting westerns in the first half of the twentieth century. We at Chinese food on their version of Hollywood Boulevard, which basically made it the Benihana of southern Utah. Barbara Stanwyck. Sick!
Animals that we saw other than what is pictured below: A gazelle, 307 deer, 2 jack rabbits, 4 other mountain goats, 1 wild boar, limitless fucking incredible taco meat. Goddamn the east coast.
How 'bout this little dude, on a wall in El Paso, Texas:
You may think of Vegas as the place where Celine Dion goes to rot, but at least she gets a vat of cryogenically-frozen olive oil to maintain her parts when she's not onstage at Ceasar's Palace. In the meantime mid-level comedians from the '80s bus tables between sets at The Orleans.
Saw some bears meet for a random hookup in the bushes at Elysian Park. Stayed with JohnnnyAa in LA, hung with Cameron from FMLY during his 103.1 “Public Education” radio show. Caught Foot Village on their home turf, and learned that Cal Art kids (including Corey from W-H-I-T-E) live in the mountains and shoot projections at their own houses for fun. It's nice to contemplate living in LA without having to pay for car insurance. News for tourists: finding gas under $4 a gallon is officially now a steal! Luckily this Mobil on Sunset Boulevard has found a way to enhance the gas-buying experience:
Caught up to Marfa on the way back to San Antonio. It was much more sanitized than we'd expected. Didn't see any aliens, but did catch an Andy Warhol. Check out neighboring Alpine for some scuzzier dives, if you ever get yourself that far out into Texas.
Last, least, a video of me talking across a canyon to a goat:
