Top 11 Sesame Street sequences to piss your pants to

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Sesame Street recently released their opus to date in DVD form. The first decade of the series has been deemed not suitable for children. This is why.

This dude actually sounds like David Byrne "on crack", and we hope it is.

Sesame Street was dangerously progressive. First animated series to introduce homosexual alligators to the ten and under set.

Our animation specialists weren't able to discern whether these guys were figments drawn on a page or real black people. Like cartoon characters, they wear the same clothes for their segments. On the other hand, they sing flawless barber shop numbers about the alphabet, like real life black people.

Somewhere between Monty Python's bridge keeper and the Catholic priest who made you do bad things is this Gandolf impersonator who forces round objects down your throat.

Because there was one word they couldn't completely spell out that starts with a V.

The 80s were a tough decade for Bob Dylan. He got mad. But it was groovy to get mad back then. It aint bad to get mad, kids.

Acid needs no introduction for little kids, nor for us. Little kids get to trip all day on their own unformed understanding of the world. We get to trip all day on our burned out assumption that we are Zorg and that a space ship will take us away in 2025 to a place where counting to twenty will cause women to sing and skies to bloom with geometric shapes.

Children's programs used to include animated sequences by one of the most famous composers of the twentieth century. Thank god we've replaced him with a singing purple dinosaur, or a sponge, depending.

In the vein of Sisyphus hauling boulders up mountains for eternity, this is an existential metaphor about getting stray cats when you want rabbits, elephants when you want butterflies, or raging cougars when you want a steady girlfriend.

They don't even try to hide the fact that this man is about to eat his best friend, with ketchup.

And they wonder why we don't like reading anymore. It's because whenever we look at letters we can't make them stop morphing into other letters. Furthermore, we can't get that fucking atonal death march to stop droning on whenever we check our email. Please make it stop.