I’ve thought a lot about whether or not to have sex on the first date, and a lot of people have told me that I ought to take things a little slower. I’ve given that advice careful consideration, and with that careful consideration, I’ve decided that it’s not advice I want to follow. If sex presents itself on a first date and it seems appealing, the reasons to go for it are plentiful, and the reasons not to, insignificant.
You Get to Have Sex
If you have a sex on a first date, you’re having sex! Most of the time, that’s a good thing. In fact, if you actually don’t like your date but you both find each other hot, this might be the only time you get to have sex with that person. Do you really want to bother going on more dates with someone who you actually don’t like that much, but who you think is hot? Sure, if sex actually isn’t an option, it’s obviously not worth it to expend much effort trying to change that. But if you have the chance to give it a go, why not?
You Might Get to Have More Sex
If you have sex on the first date and it’s good and for whatever reason you want to see your date again, you probably will get to have sex again. The sex might even be a lot better the second time around. You might be on your way to great sexual partnership (SP).
If You Don’t Get to Have Sex Again, at Least You Had Sex
This may be an overly pragmatic attitude and it’s certainly unromantic, but sometimes when you haven’t had sex in a while (especially if it’s been over eight months, as Woody Allen says), it’s sort of essential to get laid. Having sex can sometimes be intricately linked in with your ego, and there’s a way in which even if sex is meaningless and bad, as time passes, you become glad that you had it. It’s sort of like getting really drunk and feeling hungover the next day; at the time you feel shitty, but when you look back after a sizable period of time has passed, it actually seems like you were having a lot of fun.
There’s No Needless Anticipation and Build Up
While courtship can be fun for it’s own sake and might lead to better consummation of a relationship, a lot of time it’s a big drag, because you’re not actually sure if that consummation is ever going to happen. Having sex on the first date greatly reduces the anxiety engendered by dating and all the trivial concerns that go along with it. Furthermore, the feeling of anticipation occasioned by courtship is often based on elaborate game play and careful, selective displays of both affection and indifference. This kind of sucks, and if you bone on the first date you hopefully circumnavigate a lot of that crap.
You Won’t Have Wasted Your Time
Dating is a endeavor that requires a lot of time and effort (and sometimes money), and sex is like a barometer of whether or not all that effort is worth it, so why go through multiple dates only to find out that you don’t really like each other and don’t want to sleep with each other? If you do it on the first date, you’ll know right away. In other words, if it’s inevitable that you’re incompatible, having sex will make that apparent all the faster, and you won’t have to meet for drinks, make small talk, and pretend to be interested, only to discover that it was all a waste of time.
Maybe You’ll Fall In Love
The fact is, if you’re destined (whatever that may mean) to fall in love with someone, the timing of when you have sex with someone probably isn’t going to make much of a difference in the long run, and if anything, by getting freaky ASAP you’re getting a head start on something that might be really good.
This article by Dan Hoffman originally appeared on Thought Catalog. You should follow Thought Catalog on Twitter here.
