Sweet Trakz: Pleasureboaters, “Elliptical Realism”

Post Author:

[above: All is not well in Hobbitton]

Pleasureboaters – “Elliptical Realism”

The sweat palpably sprays off this track into your 32-ounce plastic cup of Amstel light. First thing I think of are the New York representatives of the punk/dance/krunk genre because, let's face it, innovation isn't exactly the main issue here. What's at stake is sweat, and beer. (Hopefully girl sweat and free beer, but we're not picky.) So I have no idea what he's screaming about and frankly I don't care. Hopefully something about hookers and eggplants and the dream of racial equality.

Wait, I heard “aspirin.” Ok, so it's about the abuse of over-the-counter medication and alcohol, leading to severe kidney failure or liver disease in one's early 40s. The protagonist then confesses his affliction to his life partner, who offers a turtle-shaped pinkie ring which has been in her family for generations. She then does a little dance. Then an earthquake hits, and they all die.

This has to do with “Elliptical Realism” because of, uh, math.

Anyway, these guys sound like a 32-ounce plastic cup full o' Amstel Light of a live show and, surprisingly, the energy carries over all right onto the track (which can't always be said of the New York noise/punk acts). This might mean one of two things: 1) it's all an illusion, and they actually suck live, or 2) I'm actually drunk right now.